


Stargate Winter Fic Exchange

by Yesimevil



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Team as Family, an element of angst, i hope you enjoy!!, late night cafeteria talks, uhhh mentioned nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29453823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yesimevil/pseuds/Yesimevil
Summary: Ronon winds up in the cafeteria after a nightmare, and is joined by his friends who suffer from the same ailment.
Relationships: Stargate Atlantis team - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12
Collections: Stargate Winter Fic Exchange 2020-21





	Stargate Winter Fic Exchange

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nonbinaryezrabridger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinaryezrabridger/gifts).



He ducked behind the corner, breathing heavily. The Wraith were in Atlantis. His mind was reeling- he knew he never should have stayed, he knew he was endangering innocent lives, and yet his own selfish wants won over his sense. His friends lay dead behind him, their final moments spent with cold glares and bitter accusations and then just like a candle blown out, they were gone and it was his fault-

“Found you.” His gun was yanked from him harshly and suddenly he was restrained by six Wraith. Another Wraith held up a tracking screen, a dot flashing in betrayal.

“Did you really think that taking the tracker out would keep us away?” it crooned with false sympathy. He bared his teeth in anger, struggling against the Wraith who were holding him. He no longer cared what became of him, but he would not go down peacefully. The Wraith grinned, and slammed it’s hand into his chest.

Ronon jolted up, his hand already on his gun before he was awake enough to register his surroundings. After his eyes adjusted and he knew where he was, he released it with a sigh, letting his head fall forward as he tried to calm himself with a steadying breath. A few weeks ago at one of the trading villages be had heard rumors that the Wraith tracking devices released smaller trackers into the bloodstream- they were just rumors, fearful myths built from superstition of the runners... but he hadn’t slept well since he heard them. After a few minutes of sitting huddled in his dark room, he hastily got out of his bed- the dark played tricks on him, and was far too unreliable.

He wandered down the hallways, ending up in the cafeteria. It was no surprise, he found himself in the big, quiet room most nights, driven there by nightmares. There was an Earth drink called “cocoa” that he was fond of- even if Rodney scoffed and called it a kid’s drink, he found the sweet, warm flavor calming. He sat at an empty table, unable to relax and enjoy his beverage, each creak of Atlantis making him jump. He was just paranoid. He knew there was no way for the Wraith to find him, it was stupid to think so, but his years of running had taught him not to stay put for too long or he would bring destruction in his wake. All he could see when he closed his eyes were the dead bodies of his friends, Wraith in Atlantis, and it was his fault and he _knew_ it couldn’t happen but what if _what if what if-_

Something tapped his shoulder, shocking him out of his trance and he was on his feet in an instant, twisting the offender’s hand behind his back.

“Hey, hey, it’s me!” John cried out with a grimace, balancing a mug his other hand. Ronon released him quickly, and mumbled an apology as he sank back down in his seat. John nodded and rolled his shoulder with a small wince.

“Couldn’t sleep, thought I’d grab a snack. What about you? Bedbugs?” he joked, dropping into the seat next to him. Ronon tried to smile, but it wavered and fell flat. If the rumors were true than it could only be a matter of time before they were attacked... his fingers were digging into the base of his neck where the tracker was- used to be- _was?_ He didn’t realize just how hard he was pressing until he was pulled out of his thoughts by a firm hand on his shoulder. He blinked a few times, staring into his friend’s worried eyes that were scanning his face.

“You okay? I’m guessing it’s a bit more than bedbugs that brings you here,” John mentioned cautiously as he released his hold. Ronon looked down at his mug, swirling the hot liquid absentmindedly as the dream still pressed at his mind.

“I’m fine,” he muttered eventually. It wasn’t very convincing, even to himself.

“That’s a lie if I ever heard one,” John accused, nudging Ronon’s leg with his own. Ronon rolled his eyes.

“I could kill you without you even realizing it,” he stated. John nudged him again- just to annoy him- and gave him a half-grin.

“But you won’t,” he insisted. Ronon sighed, slouching down in his chair, trying to resist the pressing urge to make a dash for the gate, dial a random planet and run as fast as he could. They sat in silence for a while, both of them wrapped up in their own demons and drinks. Teyla wandered in soon, smiling sheepishly as she greeted them.

“I seem to be unable to sleep,” she admitted as she slid into one of the chairs.

“Join the club,” John muttered, staring into his mug as if it held the secrets of the universe. Ronon frowned, catching a whiff of it for the first time.

“Are you drinking coffee? Doesn’t that wake you up?” he asked. John smiled wryly, raising the cup in a “cheers” motion before downing the remains.

“Not like I was gonna get back to sleep tonight anyways,” he said with a humorless chuckle. Teyla frowned disapprovingly at him.

“I do not think that coffee is a good replacement for sleep,” she chided, poking at her small slice of cake. John shrugged, setting his mug down and leaning back in his chair.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Hypocrite,” Ronon mumbled.

“You got that right,” John affirmed distantly, heavily, staring up at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. Ronon slid his leg until it was touching John’s gently- a silent anchor. They heard approaching footsteps and soon Rodney appeared. He didn’t seem too surprised to see them there, and headed straight for the table.

“Hey guys,” he muttered miserably, dropping into the fourth chair and completing the square. They all sat in a heavy silence, each one playing with whatever food they had gotten, not having much of an appetite. At one point Rodney almost drifted off for a moment, before he jolted awake with a sharp cry that made the others start. After glancing around wildly, he cleared his throat embarrassedly, and mumbled and apology.

“There is no need to apologize ,” Teyla assured him with a smile- an attempted one, one that was far to sad to pass as a smile. Rodney nodded awkwardly, and they lapsed into silence again- Ronon fidgeted uneasily his thoughts louder and more overwhelming that a crowded room as he kept playing he dream over and over again and it was stupid to believe rumors, right? He was just being stupid- he couldn’t take it anymore, and broke the silence.

“How advanced is the Wraith technology?” he asked Rodney a bit suddenly. Rodney blinked a few times before letting out an intelligent “huh?”

Ronon swallowed nervously before he continued, almost afraid of what the answer might be. “The tracking technology- there’s- there’s not way that it could-”

“Oh, no, yeah, no way,” Rodney assured quickly, catching on to what he was trying to ask, “and before you ask, I’ve heard the rumors that villagers like to throw around and they’re just- just stupid supertisions, there’s not way for tracking devices to enter bloodstreams.” Ronon nodded, relief and shame washing over him- of course it couldn’t happen, why would he let himself entertain the idea for so long?

“Right, sorry, I just- sorry,” he muttered. Rodney jumped slightly as John delivered a not-so-subtle kick to him.

“Right! I didn’t mean that it was stupid to be afraid- well, I mean, not be afraid, but to think that it would- there’s nothing wrong with- I mean, you went through intense trauma and-“ he halted with a groan, running a hand over his face in despair. “Will someone help me out here?” he snapped, and Ronon couldn’t help the amused huff that slipped out. John rolled his eyes at the scientist as Teyla hid a smile behind her hand.

“What he’s trying to say,” John translated, “is that it’s okay that you were concerned, but that now you don’t have to be.” Rodney nodded, pointing at John. “But actually, how long have you been... worried about that?” John continued, straightening up in a way that made Ronon feel almost as if he were about to be cross-examined, “is that why you’ve been so jumpy lately?” Ronon shrank back a bit, unsure of what to say- John was looking at him in that way that made him feel naked, in a way. He didn’t want to tell them the truth, that the idea had been plaguing him for weeks and tormented his every hour, that nearly every night he had woken up with a scream- he jumped as a gentle hand was laid on his, further proving John’s point of him being jumpy; Teyla gave a soft smile as she squeezed his hand gently in an apology.

“You do not need to fear judgment from us, and there is no shame in needing help,” she said. She was unbelievably wise- a result of the terrible difficulties she faced, and Ronon could only dream of having as much self-control and kindness as her. His eyes searched hers, pleading with her to be tell him the truth. She gave him a small nod in return, quelling his fears. He took a deep breath, almost bracing himself for... for what? Did he think they would roll their eyes, tell him to grow up?

“I... I haven’t been in the same place this long in seven years, I’ve conditioned myself to keep moving- I feel agitated and paranoid all the time,” he admitted, “ever since we went to that village I keep having these awful dreams, and every shadow, every sound- I keep thinking that I’ve led them here, that they’ll destroy Atlantis, all of you, and I- I can’t-” he broke off, his hand reaching to his scar again.

“I understand,” Teyla said gently, and Ronon knew she did. “When I first came to Atlantis, it was difficult to adjust- my people and I kept waiting for the Wraith to attack. It got harder after they left for the mainland, and I stayed here. I was so scared, I had always faced every threat with my people, my family. But,” she looked around the table with a smile, “I found a new family.” Her smile was returned wholeheartedly, and she turned back to Ronon. “I still have nightmares of the Wraith,” she admitted, “the horrors of the cullings are difficult for anyone to forget. But I suspect we are all here tonight for the same reason as you, the fact that we all are plagued by our fears, even when we sleep.” John nodded in agreement, and was quiet for a minute before speaking up, as if he was gathering his courage to expose himself.

“Well, I guess it’s my turn,” he mumbled, “I have a recurring dream that we get taken by the Wraith, all of you are killed, all that good stuff. Worst part is, though, that I have the power to stop it... but I don’t. It’s not that I can’t- I could if I wanted to, I just... choose not to, and... I don’t know why I would ever do that,” he murmured. Ronon laid a hand on his arm in reassurance.

“I know that that would never let that happen,” he said firmly, “and besides, I’d come back from the dead to beat your ass,” he joked. John smiled softly, moving his hand to cover Ronon’s. They looked at Rodney half expectantly.

“Is it my turn? Oh, God, there’s so many,” Rodney lamented. “My sister had this doll when she was a kid that still haunts me to this day- I know we’re a whole galaxy away, but I can’t shake the feeling that-”

“Rodney,” John said gently. _It’s okay, you can drop the act._ The scientist sobered, looking down at his hands.

“Usually it’s something along the lines of not being smart enough,” he admitted quietly, “you die, you’re maimed, you hate me- and it’s my fault, because I- I made a mistake.”

Teyla reached over and took his hand with a gentle smile. He didn’t fight her on it.

“You are the smartest person I know- granted, you can be...” she trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“Arrogant?” John suggested.

“A pain in the ass,” Ronon decided. Rodney rolled his eyes.

“Oh, thanks a lot.”

“Difficult,” Teyla decided, “you can be difficult at times, but we know that we can trust you.” John held his hand out the Rodney as well, and Rodney looked at him incredulously.

“I’m not gonna hold your hand!” he sputtered. John made a grab for his hand, but Rodney evaded him.

“Come on,” John complained, “what, are you too manly to hold hands? Or not man enough?” Teyla shook her head with a sigh and a fond smile. Rodney stared down John, and then finally relented and relinquished his hand.

“The circle is complete; the summoning may begin,” John proclaimed in a deep voice. Rodney groaned in exasperation, and Ronon let out a small laugh.

“Please tell me you weren’t one of those kids who held rituals in your basement,” Rodney complained. John shrugged.

“I might’ve played around with a Ouija board once or twice.” Teyla and Ronon looked at him blankly. “I’ll explain later,” he decided, “long story short, my friend’s mom probably had a lot of haunted dolls.” Rodney chuckled.

“You know, it’s funny that you say that, because I think one of the worst dreams I had was when I was a kid was about a doll,” he revealed.

“You had dolls as a child?” Teyla teased. Rodney gave her a flat look.

“Ha, ha. It wasn’t actually that scary now that I look back at it, but at the time it was. My sister had gotten a- a weird little rag doll for her birthday, and she loved the thing- I hated it, it was so weird, the eyes were- I don’t even know, buttons? So I buried it in a sandbox one day.”

“Oh, I bet she got you for that,” John said with a wicked grin.

“She couldn’t find it! She thought she’d lost it, and she was so upset- well, that night when I went to bed, I had a dream that the rag doll was burying me. When I woke up, I ran outside and dug it up and I never touched that thing again.”

Ronon burst out into laughter- the whole story was just ridiculous, and it was the time of night where everything is slightly funnier than it should be- and soon the whole table was wheezing and clutching their sides. John spoke up after they had all caught their breath.

“Oh, one time I had this dream about being on a Ferris wheel, and...”

Soon they were all swapping stories of funny dreams or events throughout their lives. Ronon shared the story of how he was scared of a monster being in a lake when he was a kid, and as a result ended up in a fistfight with a bunch of reeds; Teyla told of how one of the younger children in the village had been convinced that his baby sister was a demon of sorts because he slept through the delivery and to him she just appeared out of nowhere. John explained about how he broke his mother’s favorite snow globe within an hour of her receiving it. Rodney told a story about a coworker of his making some minor scientific error that had dramatic results- they didn’t understand much of what he said, but still laughed uproariously.

As Ronon looked around the table at his friends- his family, something he never thought he would be able to have again- he thanked whatever forces had shown him such mercy to decide he was deserving enough to be given such understanding people as a home.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry you deserve so much better than my feeble attempt at a fic


End file.
